We Need to Talk

I don't know anyone who voted for Trump.

Well, that is not entirely true. I am sure that I do know a few people. I work on a military installation so I am sure I actually know lots of people. And if my pre-election facebook feed is any indication there are one or two 'friends' who are celebrating.

But I don't actually have a personal relationship with anyone who voted for Trump.

That is a problem. It is perhaps THE problem.

Had the republican nominee been nearly anyone else, with maybe the exception of Ted Cruz, I would have certainly known scores of people who would have voted for a Bush or a Kaisch or even a Rubio. Not only would I have known them I would have had close personal relationships with more than a few - my father being chief among them. And not only would I have known them I would have had conversations with them about it. I would have talked about why I thought they chose wrong, they would have told me why they voted the way they did. We would have had some kind of a back and forth. I am sure that in most cases it would even have been civil, if perhaps a little tense.

One of the many thoughts that ran through my head after Tuesday's vote was, "I need to sit down and talk with a Trump supporter." And I quickly realized that it wasn't even possible for me to do so. There is truly no one in my inner and even second tier circle of friends that I a) know voted for Trump and b) would feel comfortable asking them about their choice.

In fact, now that I think about it I don't think I had a single conversation with a Trump supporter through the entire 18 month election cycle. That is extraordinary.

Now, I am getting older and am not nearly the social butterfly I once was. I have a 2 year old and I work far too much and often times travel for work - which all means that I tend not to socialize all that much. And when I do - it is with a small circle of close friends that have endured the test of time. Inevitably they tend to think a lot like I do and have similar values.

But that being said, I had plenty of conversations with people who did not vote for Hillary. Some of them quite heated. Some of them with my closest and dearest friends and family.

One of the other things I have been struggling with is trying to decide how unique Trump's election really is. Is it the monumental shift that some seem to think it is? Or is mostly bluster - the classic sound and fury that ultimately signals a different version of the same old thing? Or is it truly a whole new thing?

I think it is far too early to tell. There is certainly a lot to discuss regarding the implications for the business of the American presidential campaign - what can and cannot be successfully exploited on the campaign trail. But the real impact will be come once Trump takes office and there is, frankly, no way to truly know what will happen.

Which I suppose is unique in its own way. It is hard to imagine so much uncertainty surrounding any other candidate in modern history. Most others could be counted on to follow fairly closely a party platform that was well known and understood, if not supported, by the vast majority of voters. That is simply not the case here and nearly a week after the election we have scant indication from the President-Elect to help us gauge.

But I do think that that the fact that I, as a reasonably intelligent and engaged citizen, had literally not a single conversation with a Trump supporter is also unique and points to something serious and troubling in our country right now. Maybe I am alone in this predicament but I suspect not. I'd be willing to bet that there are more than a few like myself. And even of those who do know a Trump supporter or two I would be willing to bet that it is a very small subset that actually had sustained and constructive political conversations with them.

So maybe it is a little unique. But was it just a fluke? Could all be forgotten quickly with a Democratic rebound in 2 and then 4 years? Maybe but I don't think we as a country should think that way. I think that we all, democrats, republicans and otherwise should take pause. And beyond rhetoric or politics or faith or race or whatever, just accept that, in some ways, we are truly a divided nation.

In fact we have always been. We were actually designed by destiny and by decree to be a divided nation. We don't have to agree. We won't agree. Even on central issues - perhaps even issues of existential importance to our chosen form of government. It is one of our greatest strengths. It is also a great vulnerability. It is a vulnerability when the conversation completely breaks down. And I think that it has. Obviously, at least for me, it has. To be clear - I am not assigning blame to a particular party or kind of voter. I think we are all to blame. If there is one thing we should bear in mind it is that in a government of the people, for the people and by the people it is us, the people, who are ultimately accountable to each other. The system is not perfect but nor is it rigged. And every now and then we need to make the effort to reconnect with each other.

So, if you, like me, voted for Hillary I think it is time you had an honest conversation with a Trump supporter. If you voted for Trump and are reading this blog (which would be a stretch since currently no one is reading this blog) write to me, let's start a conversation. I am not saying we need to agree. I am not even saying we need to find common ground. But we need to talk.